Why am I here? I’m a polling place “volunteer”—HA. Yes, because I willingly donned this Statue of Karthus getup and happily skipped outside to be a billboard for democracy. Even my undead derriere is sweating in this unseasonal heat. Go out and represent your constituency, they said. It’ll be great to have a representative from the Shadow Isles greeting people at the polls, they said.
- Oh, look who’s here: it’s Leona with her sunny holier-than-thou disposition. Will you be voting “Yes” on the solar energy proposition? Of course; I’m so surprised. Too bad the Solari lobbyists don’t have half the charisma of their lunar competitors—hey! Sheath that Zenith Blade! 487 RP
- Careful with those spirit blades, Irelia. Although you should only be using the provided paper-poking implements, be my guest and stab away with your magic-trick knives. You have only yourself to blame if your ballot has hanging chads. 487 RP
- Riven! How many times do I have to chase you out of here? I don’t care about your supposed right to picket. No one here is going to listen to your third-party write-in shpiel, especially not after that social media battle-bunny scandal. 487 RP
- For summoner’s sake, cover yourself up, Ruthless Pantheon! You’re the only one here to vote, not each of your 300 individual sinews. This is madness. Go wrap yourself in a booth curtain before I lay waste to every exposed inch of you. 260 RP
- From whom is that foul smell emanating?! It’s like rotting salmon marinated in cystic pus. It can only be Junkyard Trundle. I guess everyone has the right to express his opinion in the matters of governing our fine realm, because clearly politics are easier to grasp than basic hygiene. 487 RP
- And now Jurassic Kog’Maw’s drooled caustic acid all over his booth. Disgusting. And, naturally, he’s eaten his ballot. Someone pry open his ribs and dig it out before he leaves it behind, encased in a fossilized lump. 487 RP
This fake torch flame won’t burn anyone, but I wonder if it’s hard enough to leave a decent bruise. Oh, excuse me: goodbyethankyouforvotinghere’sastickerhaveawonderf ulday . (Until I end it.) The polls are open from November 6 to November 9
, so don’t forget to cast your vote—there are plenty of tempting sharp pencils in the booths...
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